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Joke of the Day

"How to do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints."

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? ""Go fuck yourself!"""

"QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men? ANSWER: They come in five flavors."

"A friend of mine got crushed by falling books. He only has his shelf to blame."

"Dear Monday. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my weekend. Prepare to die."

"Questions we just don't answer when kids ask: Where do babies come from? Is Santa real? What was Myspace?"

"I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrodinger house is quite stressful."

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."

"I went to Oklahoma recently ,It was pretty ok"

"My fortune cookie reads ""I peed in your fried rice"" and it's hand written..."