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Joke of the Day
"I repurposed some lumber. It was ex-siding."
Next Joke
"When I got depressed, I joined the Army. I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on."
"So a black guy walks into a bank... Approaching the nearest available teller, he says, ""Hi, I'd like to file for bankruptcy."" ""Okay"", the teller replies, ""what's your name?"" ""Fifty Cent"" badum tisss"
"I need a new assistant for my knife-throwing act. Also need a large rug and a gallon of bleach. Please RT."
"Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall."
"I just got accused of ""plagiarism"" Their words not mine!"
"I'm tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers."
"LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life."
"I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World... I said ""Wow, it's a small world!"" She said, ""actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."""
"I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers."