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Joke of the Day

"Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much."

"What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed? ""So ve it."""

"so, history isn't that boring? The history professor asked his student Keaton, ""Have you read Marx? Keaton: ""Yes sir. I think it's from the wicker chairs."""

"Beer commercials tell us we should drink ""responsibly"". So I'm starting a college fund for my kids with all the empty cans."

"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious."

"Some people say I have my mom's eyes... but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law."

"I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime."

"I guess FIFA had to pee cause they couldn't hold their Blatter anymore."

"Nothing is certain but death and Adobe Flash Player updates."

"Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why? Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words."