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Joke of the Day

"They say that trains are full of weird people... ...but I don't think that's true. I've never met a weird person on a train, and I talk to *everyone.*"

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"Floyd Mayweather will be saddened by the death of Ali I mean just wait until someone reads all these articles to him calling Ali the greatest."

"What did the beaver say when his house burned down? Damn"

"Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*"

"What did One Direction say when they became popular? Zayn Ma Luck"

"Where do 4 gay guys go? One Direction"

"Did you hear? Broadway is making a theatrical production on puns! It's going to be a *huge* play on words!"

"What do you call an existential lycanthrope? A whywolf."

"My mistress bought me a Neck Clampotron XXX 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since!"