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Joke of the Day

"My mistress bought me a Neck Clampotron XXX 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since!"

"Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream ...but at least my asshole smells minty fresh"

"Worst Betrayals in History: - Judas turning on Jesus - Brutus helping to murder Caesar - Verizon guy going to work for Sprint"

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fucking livid"

"A guy caught cold. His wife offers to make him Chicken Soup A chicken sitting nearby says ""Why don't you try Aleve first, ma'am?"""

"Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed? To catch her false teeth."

"Why couldn't OP make it as a standup comedian? Poor delivery."

"I want you to drag me to the bedroom, softly lay me down, & kiss my neck. Now go clean the house while I take a nap."

"People who mispronounce Grand Prix... ...are just grand pricks."

"Today i realised why my Dad divorced my mom I saw her driving license. she has an F in sex"