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Joke of the Day

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"What's Canada's intelligence agency called? The C.I. Eh"

"What is a guy who hangs out with musicians called? A singer"

"What's a 6.9 A good time ruined by the period?"

"The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too."

"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but prune juice and viagra? He couldn't tell if he was coming or going."

"I was drinking gin for the first time when I realized... I'm not supposed to lose my ginity until I'm married"

"I like how Angelina waited to divorce Brad Pitt until Jen got married. Well played Maleficent...well played..."

"A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."