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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs? Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs? Consuelo."

"Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said ""bc time killed the dinosaurs."" My kids are never leaving home are they"

"What is a cat's favorite vacation spot? Maui."

"What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers"

"Once a man went to a resturant and ordered an egg. When it was brought he didn't liked it so he informed the waiter that the egg was bad. Came the reply: ""I don't lay egg sir I just lay table !"""

"I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums."

"What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"

"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can / super speed, giant leap / crawls in your mouth when you're asleep"

"What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)"