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Joke of the Day

"Why can you not play UNO with mexicans? They take all the green cards."

"What does a bored Spaniard eat? Aburrido."

"We should hang out and stare at our phones."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"Hyper intelligent student Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. Teacher: India is on which continent? Boy: potato! He leaves for home then."

"What is a 6.9? A 69 ruined by a period."

"I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart."

"How many white people can you fit in a can? Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!"

"I'm one step away from being rich All I need now is money"

"My gf won't get the remote that's in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she'd be shopping already."