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Joke of the Day
"I'm one step away from being rich All I need now is money"
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"""Star Wars"" fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new ""Star Wars"" movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han Solo all waking up in Vegas."
"what's the most impressive thing about tom cruise performing his own stunts? he does it in heels"
"[I open my lunchbox to find flask of whisky] But that means.... [Cut to my 4 y/o opening her lunchbox to find a flask of whisky]"
"Why did Hitler commit suicide ? He got freaked out when he received the gas bill."
"What does an egg say when it's drunk? Omelette"
"Maybe she's boing with it. Maybe it's trampoline."
"People immediately behave better in traffic once they notice the Elf on the Shelf tied to my grille."
"If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment."
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Man, I wish I had paid for all that music..."