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Joke of the Day

"Ok Reddit, I'll be signing off to take my girlfriend home... ...and I'm back, didn't take long to put my hand in my pocket."

"Cheese & Milk Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese. I thought that wasn't very mature. He then ran over and pour milk all over my head. I thought HOW DAIRY!!!"

"In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour"

"Me: I love you Wife: I will testify against you if required"

"Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler, 1945"

"Whats the difference between congress and a US mint? One of them makes sense!"

"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."

"Today I met a midget in a KKK outfit. I knew right away he was a little racist."

"I'm fat, but not accidentally give birth in the Walmart bathroom because I didn't know I was pregnant, fat."

"children crying as stepdad attempts to overturn custom t-shirt mall kiosk that accidentally typed ""#2 dad"" on his photo, stepdad also crying"