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Joke of the Day

"Ok Reddit, I'll be signing off to take my girlfriend home... ...and I'm back, didn't take long to put my hand in my pocket."

Next Joke
 
"Cheese & Milk Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese. I thought that wasn't very mature. He then ran over and pour milk all over my head. I thought HOW DAIRY!!!"
"In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour"
"Me: I love you Wife: I will testify against you if required"
"Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler, 1945"
"Whats the difference between congress and a US mint? One of them makes sense!"
"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."
"Today I met a midget in a KKK outfit. I knew right away he was a little racist."
"I'm fat, but not accidentally give birth in the Walmart bathroom because I didn't know I was pregnant, fat."
"children crying as stepdad attempts to overturn custom t-shirt mall kiosk that accidentally typed ""#2 dad"" on his photo, stepdad also crying"