9048

Joke of the Day

"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."

"Why did the tomato blush? He saw the salad dressing."

"Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian Well, nobody's laughing now"

"I want to die like my grandfather . ..peaceful . . . ready to go. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car"

"I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven't had is North Korean food. Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea."

"*Lying in hospital Doctor)Your back is broken in 6 places. You may never walk again Me)At least I got all the groceries in one trip"

"I meet James Bond at my university. After some greetings, I ask him: ""Whats your GPA?"" James answers: ""4 2.4."""

"*At the bank Robber:THIS IS A STICKUP! Me:Looks like a gun R:SHUT UP! M:Well, 'THIS IS A GUN' is way scarier Teller:He's got a point"

"I heard someone call pumpkin spice lattes basic... but they are wrong, lattes have a pH below 7"

"What was Charles Dickens' favourite experimental pop album? It was the best of Grimes..."