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Joke of the Day

"The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it."

"Harrison Ford crashed because he saw three people urinating into one of the holes. See 3 pee O (C3PO)"

"Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork."

"What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

"I don't feel bad ignoring the baby when she cries. If she really needs something, she should text me."

"Cheesy joke A muenster attacked Emmenthal institution. Everyone cheddared with panic. There was de brie everywhere. It was no Gouda."

"What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow? He's never gonna give you Up."

"I look suspicious doing anything. You could walk in on me heating up a hot pocket and my face could look like I just murdered my family."

"The rotation of the earth. It really makes my day."

"My roommate gets angry when I steal their kitchen utensils It's a whisk I'm willing to take"