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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people kick my cats! It really hurts my felines."

"Seeing a guy in skinny jeans and wondering how his balls fit in there."

"Illegal immigrants can never get a cold drink. They don't want to be anywhere near ICE."

"I'm not racist! I'll have you know my childhood best friend was black, but I haven't seen him since my dad sold him."

"How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds? He broke up with his girlfriend."

"A family of crows flying into a windmill is a murder suicide"

"Not saying I'm desperate enough for a mail order bride, but did just check to see how much FedEx charges for 125 pounds from Krasnoyarsk."

"I thought I had an STD once... turned out it was just carpal tunnel."

"Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke. If you let her have more she might suck it too."

"What does your girlfriend and my garage have in common? I pull out of both of them."