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Joke of the Day
"What does your girlfriend and my garage have in common? I pull out of both of them."
Next Joke
"Trying to decide who to leave my middle fingers to when I die."
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ......All of it."
"MAGICIAN: think of a card! ME: ok. MAGICIAN: is... this ur card? [holds up card that says ""UGH I HATE MAGIC SHOWS THIS IS CRAP""] ME: holy crap"
"Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I'm like HOLY CRAP I'M OUTSIDE."
"A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought."
"A black man enters a bar... with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said; - That's cool! Where did you get that? - In Africa, replied the parrot."
"Your mother..."
"I like my sausages like I like my women In bread"
"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with garbage bags? A Pillow Fight"