144977

Joke of the Day

"Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week? Patient: No I'm sick now."

"I had a jacket stolen from me tonight. My enemies will stop at nothing to keep me from maintaining a comfortable body temperature in style"

"Two competitive silk worms decided to race... ...it ended in a tie."

"Fuck you KFC with your ""we don't serve hot dogs"" and your ""we don't accept $30 bills""."

"Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."

"Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions."

"I told my friend that she had one of the nastiest bodies I've ever seen I hope she doesn't hold it against me."

"What starts with ""f"" and ends with ""uck""? FIRE DUCK O SHIT WADDUP"

"What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom? Angus McCoatup"