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Joke of the Day

"Why can't the two melons get married? I don't know but they cantaloupe."

"Beauty is only skin deep ... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!"

"So I have these lesbian neighbors... They asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and then got me a watch. I think they misunderstood me."

"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."

"What does E.T. stand for? Freedom of speech"

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife? Engage."

"Why kind of motorcycles do cows ride? Mooooootorcycles!"

"Imagine William Shakespeare in a swimming pool, perplexed and terrified as children just splash the shit out of him"

"I could never learn the alphabet as a kid. problems with the x..."

"What's up? the ceiling"