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Joke of the Day

"NSFW How do you know when a girl is too young for you? When you have to make airplane noises to get your cock in her mouth. Source: Jimmy Carr"

"What did the Asian police dog say to the robber? Fleas!"

"How to make your wife take care while driving? Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age."

"Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together."

"I'm worried about my relationship with my anorexic girlfriend... ...I'm seeing less and less of her each day."

"Twitter=Whats happening? FB=Whats on your mind? FourSquare= Where am I? Quora=what? Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me?"

"It's a bird, it's a plane! No, it's my data plan!"

"What's E.T. short for? He's just got little legs."

"You brought me roses? I can't eat this. Get out."

"Why can't Kim Kardashian find her asshole? He's on tour."