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Joke of the Day

"WANTED: ladder. must be in working condition. bring it by 5134 parker st, it's the big yellow house with a guy on the roof"

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"You know who the real winner is today? The guy who sells ""I voted"" stickers."

"What's the most confusing compliment to give a woman in her 40's? If you had a daughter, I'd fuck her."

"Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls."

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring an Ebola patient to Atlanta, I'm saying everyone should leave Atlanta because I've seen this movie...."

"I ordered girlfriend from Thailand who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."

"I like my Jews... ...the way I like my coffee. Roasted."

"Women with large breasts are generally more successful than men with large breasts."

"What do you call a wine loving horse? Chardon-neigh."