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Joke of the Day
"People that say ""money doesn't buy happiness"" obviously have never been divorced."
Next Joke
"I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it."
"I was going to tell you a joke about Alzheimers But I just don't remember it now"
"You can't fix stupid but you can fantasize about slapping the shit out of it."
"How does a sociopath say goodbye? Manip-ya-later!"
"Why did the strawberry take the fig to the movies? Because he couldn't find a date!"
"Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice."
"What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAAAAAR"
"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, "" SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"" but a train says, "" CHOO CHOO"""
"I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous."