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Joke of the Day

"Waiting to see who you're sitting next to on an airplane is the original Chatroulette. Now where the hell is the next button?"

"I told the doctor I want to take my amputated leg home and he asked why ""Because it's my right"""

"What do you call a Spanish man who has just got out of hospital? Manuel..."

"I told my wife 'a blowjob a day keeps the doctor away.' For Christmas she bought me better medical coverage."

"Flight attendant: ""will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?"" Me: ""yes"" In my head: ""No we're all gonna die"""

"If you have a donkey and I have a rooster, and your donkey bites off my roosters feet. What do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass"

"What did the Elephant say to the naked man? That's cute but can you breath through it?"

"My Jr High teacher makes me have sex with her while her husband watches, but that's not the worst part. ....I'm homeschooled."

"What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker"

"Saw this quote behind a auto rickshaw I couldn't afford a Volkswagen. Thus, auto."