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Joke of the Day

"[Burger Lounge] Server: Are you 27? Me: OMG NO I'M 39 THANK U SO MUCH U MADE MY DAY Server: I meant your order number, ma'am."

"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."

"Side chicks are getting leftover Halloween candy for Valentine's Day ""Why'd you give me ghost shaped candy?"" ""Cuz you my BOO"""

"What did your last slave die of? A perforated colon."

"[Racist] Why can't African Americans stretch their arms? Because they're handcuffed."

"I'm in a pickle and I don't know how to dill with it"

"How do you make a Snowman smile? Tell him the snowblower is coming."

"The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini."

"What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer? Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)"

"Yo momma's so mean she has no standard deviation"