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Joke of the Day

"What did your last slave die of? A perforated colon."

"Anyone who has to spend more than 2 mins at an ATM is obvilously sending a text to Optimus Prime"

"I could live in this house for a million years and still second guess which switch is for the garbage disposal every time."

"I once went out with a girl who worked with bees My friends said she was a keeper"

"Know why Jedi don't get married? Because they know divorce will be with them. Always."

"When my Internet is down for more than 2 minutes, I assume Western civilization has collapsed so I start looting."

"Arguing with a greased up Asian... Can be a slippery slope."

"The Energizer Bunny got arrested the other day... He was charged with battery"

"How many dead Hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Not 8, since my basement is still dark."

"Is trying to sell a useless set of feelings."