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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a beer... ...the bartender says,""You know, there's a drink named after you."" The grasshopper replies, ""There's a drink named Murray?"""

"I don't mean to brag about my financial skills but, my bank calls me almost everyday to tell me my debt is outstanding"

"miley cryus's career (please read title if you dont get joke)"

"The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it."

"Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon... ...Because Marathons are the master race."

"I'll be coming into some money When Katy Perry gets on the dollar bill"

"Hey, do you like Duck Hunt? What are you, a lesbian duck?"

"What is nine inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome"

"How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Whos there? Control Freak. Con Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?"