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Joke of the Day

"Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon... ...Because Marathons are the master race."

"""Hey, my face is UP HERE and also OVER HERE"" - woman in Picasso painting"

"What is an astronaut's favorite meal? *Launch*"

"Running through a campground is impossible. You can only ran, because it's past tents."

"A man has an accident at the factory where he works... He calls his wife and says ""Meet me at the hospital! I just cut off my finger!"" Wife says ""The whole finger?!?"" He says ""No, the one next to it"""

"What language do cats speak? Catonese"

"NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon. They're a bunch of lunatics."

"You momma so stupid.. She got fired from the m&m factory for throwing away all the W's"

"On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot"

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."