125178

Joke of the Day

"A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of slaughter So I said, ""you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."""

"*Will smith is alone in his corner, depressed* ""Won't Smith,"" he whispers"

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"A patient wakes up and yells ""I can't feel my legs!!!"" The doctor says, ""Of course you can't! I amputated your arms."""

"The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado."

"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""

"Use the force luke I've run out of lubricant"

"What's blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"My wife: ""What are you doing?"" ""Having an argument on Twitter"" ""With a man or woman?"" ""A lamp."""

"Where is the best place to hide a body? Buried in the third page of google search results."