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Joke of the Day

"Congress is like autocorrect It causes more problems then fixing them."

"Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called ""Murderer"" in this thing"

"I just had to leave the office kitchen because two co-workers were talking about tea bags and I'm 12"

"I never got why people liked sitting home without pants so much until I was without a job for a week. Now I don't get why people have jobs."

"What do you call a dinosaur FBI agent? A pteredacted."

"Leap years mean nothing when you have bad knees."

"Josh tells his friend Steve, 'did you know 2 out of every 3 people live next to a paedophile?' Steve replies 'not me, I live next to two smoking hot 10 years olds'"

"Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat."

"I asked my North-Korean friend how it was there... He said he couldn't complain."

"Here's to honor!... Get honor, stay honor. If you can't come in her. Come honor."