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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dinosaur FBI agent? A pteredacted."
Next Joke
"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""
"I got a sweater for Christmas. Wish I'd gotten a screamer or a squirter."
"Server friend was complaining about her pay at local restaurant Server friend was complaining about her job at local restaurant. So I say, ""Don't worry. Good things come those who wait."""
"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."
"I have the heart of a lion.. .. and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo."
"Son to his father as they watch television: ""Dad tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."""
"Why did the rockstar turkey get kicked out of the concert? Because he tryptophan."
"Why don't you ever see black people on cruises? They'll never be tricked into that one again..."
"What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia? Aussie Aus-born."