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Joke of the Day

"evryone shutup im trying to paper mache my dog but he keeps trying to reading the newspaper articles"

"A guy walks into a bar the punchline doesn't matter because the real joke is always in the comments."

"INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*"

"Woah! Brian Williams' fly is wide open! Newsflash."

"There was once a very unlucky man Crossing the road , he got hit by a truck . Then on his way to heaven , got hit by a plane"

"This year for Lent, I'm giving up"

"If shes's being being anal about it Give her sex and you'll make her whole day, Give her anal sex and you'll make her hole weak"

"Threw my new neighbors a house-warming party... The police called it arson. Whatever..."

"A farmer won a million dollars playing the lottery, he was really excited looking at his bank account... ...it now showed zero dollars."

"Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse"