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Joke of the Day

"help keep the English language alive by teaching your kids nearly outdated expressions Plus nothing beats a 5yo pointing & yelling ""BEHOLD!"""

"Why did the trio of Mexicans get arrested? Because they were trespassing!"

"Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*"

"Why do people say half a dozen? Why can't they just say Six"

"I crashed into the back of a dwarf's car... He got out, looked at the damage and said ""I'm not happy"". So I replied "" Which one are you then?"""

"It's weird that you need money to stay alive."

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch? (OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years."

"Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right."

"Apparently, you can only say ""look at you! You got so big!"" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended."

"What do you call a group of twelve, angry, well-endowed men? A hung jury."