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Joke of the Day
"Modern feminism."
Next Joke
"I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars."
"A mama's boy is frantically running out of a strip club yelling... MY MOMMA TOLD ME IF I EVER CAME INTO A PLACE LIKE THIS I'D TURN INTO STONE. AND I FEEL IT'S STARTING"
"Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting? Biden: Young Metro. Obama: Why did you call- Biden: Shhh. I got this."
"They say 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile.. But not me. I live next to two really hot 9 year olds."
"[High Stakes Poker] Dealer: Are you in or are you out? Schrodinger's Cat: [For the 20th time] BOTH [Player flips table]"
"My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands."
"Just like to give a shout out to the guy who plays triangle in our orchestra. Thanks for every ting."
"I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car But they're having trouble installing windows"
"Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now."