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Joke of the Day

"HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy ME: i'm on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire HIM: i meant like- ME: everyone claps"

"I burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza. But I got my revenge. It's poop now."

"She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive."

"Why can't Norwegians tell jokes Timing"

"Music star Kenny Rogers announced his retirement yesterday. In other news, Kenny Rogers is still alive, apparently."

"When and where do chemists have sex? Periodically, on the table."

"I call my ex wife... I call my ex wife an ""ankle"", because she is three feet lower than a cunt."

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"

"A fish swims into a wall. It says damn!"

"Dear Airlines, We never really turn the phones off. Signed, Everyone"