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Joke of the Day

"If you don't get sarcasm, follow these simple steps that will definitely help you understand it easily: Die."

"What's the difference between an Onion and a Whore? I don't cry when I chop up a Whore."

"Women are like a 1000 piece puzzle... Hard to finish in 10minutes"

"No thanks lady, I don't need a tray I'll just use my four hands to carry all these coffee's"

"want to hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door,"

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!"

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"It's 2012, aka the future. Don't ask me to print shit out, sign, scan, fax, etc. You're not the CIA. Dial it down, Patty Printsalot."

"1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation"