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Joke of the Day

"want to hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door,"

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""

"The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor"

"My coworker doesn't like me which is weird bc her husband does."

"My credit card was stolen today I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. So far he's spending way less than my wife does."

"I feel like doing something rebellious and out of character to shock people. Like dye my hair a shade darker or stop taking iron tablets."

"Yo. Wanna do graffiti? ""Sure man"" [My friend makes a cool gang symbol on a wall] Cool. Let me try [Mine reads KELLY WHY DID U LEAVE ME]"

"People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life."

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up an opened lap top* this is my sound cloud, please check it out"