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Joke of the Day

"Im so poor... That my new years resolution is 144p"

"What does a time traveler do when he's hungry? He goes back 4 seconds."

"What's the difference between smoking weed and burning the koran? If you burn the koran, you can only get stoned once."

"Roses are brown... Violets are brown... Wait...Who shat in my garden?"

"My neighbors look so happy. We can fix that."

"What happens when you put your hand in a jar of jelly beans The black ones steal your watch"

"As a Malaysian, I thought that our Prime Minister would be crowned the worst political leader of the century But it looks like America has finally decided to us their Trump card."

"What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."

"*at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER"

"What do you call a pachyderm that doesn't matter? Irrelephant."