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Joke of the Day

"Small town waitresses have either been there for 26 years or it's their first day."

"What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris? Free Shots"

"What is black and stuck to the ceiling? A crappy electrician"

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP ""No"" WE WON'T ASK AGAIN ""No"" Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again"

"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""

"I told my toilet to go eat shit... I probably shouldn't have said that because he got all flushed."

"Why didn't the President fight with the chair? Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists."

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""curiosity was here"""

"What's the worst part about being a rollerblader? Telling your parents that you're gay."