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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""curiosity was here"""

"I was raised by my father.. He's schizophrenic but he's good people."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopus"

"Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is dead."

"How many potatos does it take to kill an Irishman? None....."

"I say ""post-9/11"" for literally anything that happened in the last 14 years. Madagascar 2 is so post-9/11. Dr Pepper Ten is a post-9/11 soda"

"Did you ever notice that black people... ...are the same as white people. - Joe Machi"

"Why don't little girls fart? They don't get assholes until they're married! (My favorite joke to tell to un-piss off a pissed off woman after I've pissed her off with a woman joke)"

"The ethernet is used to catch the etherbunny."

"""Did you realise that a woman's ""I'll be ready in five minutes"" and a man's ""I'll be home in five minutes"" are exactly the same?"""