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Joke of the Day

"THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP ""No"" WE WON'T ASK AGAIN ""No"" Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again"

"Why did the AC wave try to hang himself? He was sinusoidal."

"How do landscapers keep their seams from ripping? Well let me tell you; They don't beat around the bush! They nip it in the bud and use Hem-Lock!"

"What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ? A wet nose."

"Just took a short nap, although I wouldn't exactly call it a cat nap since I didn't lay on anyone's clothes or laptop like a total asshole."

"OMG I'M SO OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH WITH POP MUSIC WHAT SONG DOES BREXIT SING"

"A Blind Man Walked Into A Bar... and a table."

"My brother's doctor says he can no longer play video games, and he's taking it very hard He's inconsolable"

"My girlfriend wants a Christmas Gift she can wear... I'm going to give her a facial."

"""So sir, have you decided whether or not you'd like to buy this mattress?"" ""I'll sleep on it"""