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Joke of the Day

"If your parents say, ""You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up"", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman."

Next Joke
 
"What's the worst part about being a gay bathhouse attendant? Shitty tips."
"Whats the difference between a duck? One foots both the same!"
"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"
"The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus."
"What was the deaf mans favorite song? The Sound of Silence."
"So, where does the captain keep his armies? In his sleevies!! ( )"
"What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug? Amfetamines"
"If you believe in God, yet you can't believe it's not butter, then your faith needs to get its damn priorities straight."
"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."