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Joke of the Day

"Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table."

"I'm at my creepiest when I see a drunk chick crying outside of a bar and just think 'bingo"

"Star Wars should cast an Indian actor to play Mace Hindu."

"My girlfriend complained that I never listen to her. At least that's what I think she said."

"What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene"

"What's the Turkish version of court packing? Turkey stuffing"

"[girlfriend talking to me but I can't hear her over crunch of my cereal] ""I think we should see other people"" Yeah sure thing, babe"

"What has nine arms and blows? Def Leppard"

"I invited a friend to go hunt some gods with me... But he just can't deicide."

"Zombie Apocalypse has begun... Man, it's hectic out there. I've killed like 6 zombies already. How's everyone else holding up? Anyone know why they all have bags of candy?"