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Joke of the Day

"My daughter just said ""I goed potty in the fish bowl"". She is a 27 year old investment banker. Why did she goed potty there?"

"Hey, do you like wind? No. I'm not a fan."

"TIL if you say ""gullible"" very slowly it'll come out sounding like ""oranges"". Gotchya!?"

"Shoes from a drug dealer I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon? Kermits finger."

"""Pick a pencil. Look at it. Now put it back with the other pencils. Was your pencil the number 2?""-Steve, shitty pencil magician"

"Business idea Souvernir Shops in abortion clinics - so noone leaves empty handed"

"I just found out that I'm colorblind It really came out of the purple!"

"[gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] ""17"" host: [looks at me weird] ""that's wrong"" other contestant: ""salmon?"" host: ""correct"""

"How do you piss off 2 feminazis? Put them in a room with each other"