150534

Joke of the Day

"Narrator: ""Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution"" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]"

"How does an Irishman's future look like? Very blight."

"How do you get a parrot to talk properly ? Send him to polytechnic !"

"A tray of muffins is in the oven. One muffin says ""Woo; it's hot in here."" An adjacent muffin exclaims, ""Whoa! A talking muffin!"""

"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."

"Patient: ""Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."" Doctor: ""Next time, take off the candles."""

"Does anyone know any jokes about buttons? Topic."

"Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product"

"This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl."

"What's Irish and lies around in the sun all day? Patty O'Furniture."