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Joke of the Day

"I am never too old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night."

"Men, if you're looking to spoil your lady this christmas, make sure there's WIFI in the kitchen, chicks love WIFI in the kitchen."

"""Mommy all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"" ""No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."""

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! DID YOU KNOW THAT FROSTED FLAKES DON'T TASTE HALF BAD WITH RED BULL INSTEAD OF MILK? I THINK I'LL RUN TO WORK TODAY!"

"What is the name of the bear capitol? Koala Lumpur"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the golf club wielding maniac."

"Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot. I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can."

"I'm glad my son will learn about sex from the internet. Remember how awkward it was when your dad showed you how to two-girls-one-cup?"

"""I just need some space."" - astronaut break up"

"TIL that there is an animal with an asshole on its back A Police Horse"