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Joke of the Day

"I am looking at my neighbor's wife through the wall with this new thermal imaging scope. She's hot!"

Next Joke
 
"My wife and I lost 150lbs combined! So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!"
"""well well well, if it isn't the person who didn't like my Instagram photo"" is how i like to address pretty much everyone"
"Animal Crackers... ... despised by gluten-free people and vegans"
"Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve? The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation."
"I came up with this when I was three years old. What do you call an egg that's scared? A chicken egg."
"Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?"
"What does a nosy chili pepper do? Gets jalapeno business"
"""I hate when I can't think of the right word,"" she protesticulated."
"A trailer in a movie theater ended with ""November 20th"" and a guy loudly said, ""thats my birthday"" and a random guy said ""happy birthday"""