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Joke of the Day

"Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?"

"I'm no accountant but I'm thinking if you sold your Escalade, you could probably afford a lawnmower. Maybe even some paint for the house."

"I signed up on Match.com... They set me up with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion... ...on the bright side it was my 1st 3-way."

"Have you heard the one about the mentally challenged couple making love? You probably don't want to, it's fucking retarded."

"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A Brunette with bad breath."

"""Are you crying .?"" ""No, my eyes are sweating -_____-"" #ITTS"

"[Game of Thrones] What happens if Ramsay Bolton met Samwell Tarly's girlfriend? Gilly suit"

"hi (sorry for bad english)"

"What's the difference between a sadist and a math teacher Nothing"

"Sure, white people can't say the n-word, but.... At least we can say, ""Hey dad"" and ""Thanks for the warning officer."""