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Joke of the Day

"I know someone who puts raisins in meatballs so don't even try to talk to me about psychos"

"A Black Widow joke Q: How do you kill a Black Widow? A: You take away her food stamps Was told his one at a family reunion, don't know how old but thought it was funny as hell!"

"Coworker who supports Trump: Big weekend plans? Me: Huge. My weekend plans are so big you won't believe it. No one has bigger weekend plans."

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"Why do crowd control police go earlier to work? To beat the crowd."

"Remember, tomorrow is Good Friday So let's all act like Jesus and get completely hammered."

"What happened to the dwarf who walked between a lady's legs? He got a clit around the ear and a flap on the face."

"Did you hear about the kleptomaniac who went to the theater the other day? He stole the show!"

"What's green and sits on the porch? Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

"Me: *lying nude on checkered blanket* Him: ""Where's the food and why are you naked?"" Me: ""Am I doing it wrong? This is my first picnic."""