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Joke of the Day

"A miser writes his will and names himself as the heir. This is actually one of the oldest known jokes. http://mentalfloss.com/article/57470/11-jokes-worlds-oldest-jokebook"

"Guy runs into a bar, yells ""Quick! How tall is a penguin?"" Bartender says ""Three feet tall."" Guy says ""Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"""

"The worst thing about being British with Crohns... ...Is all the the bloody shits you take."

"Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them."

"last night I did a poo and in it was a tied up length of rope I shit you knot"

"No matter what sexual role play idea my wife decides on, I always have to play the same character... The husband that's out of town."

"Father, i want a bicycle... Why you need that? You already have a wheelchair."

"Thanks for the glitter covered greeting card. I'll never forget this gesture because EVERY SURFACE IN MY HOUSE IS COVERED IN GLITTER NOW"

"I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe."

"I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, ""my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"""