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Joke of the Day

"The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet."

"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"

"Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said, ""I'll give you something to cry about"" We thought they were going to hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market."

"DATE: so what kind of writing do you do? ME: um, cursive, regular... DATE: no I mean- ME: actually I can't do cursive :/"

"Videogames ruined my life... ...but at least i have two more"

"Post and Repost were sitting in a boat. Post fell out, so who was left?"

"What car do polite cowboys drive? Audi!"

"Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright."

"Sea turtles happened when god got stoned one night and wondered what would happen if a frisbee was a lizard."

"E-mail Addresses Are Kinda Like Underwear... If you don't change them often enough they'll get full of shit"