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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I taught my boss to play Angry Birds. Today, she ""couldn't make it in to work."" This is called managing upwards, people."

"Your mama is so dirty Her crabs have dirt bike races."

"You can't trust atoms.. ..They make up everything."

"There's nothing worse than child abuse but a close second is when someone describes an actor's performance as ""courageous."""

"Friday...Gods Gift to the working People"

"What is round and looks like a stone. A stone."

"I used to be into S&M. And necrophilia. And bestiality. Then I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink? I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW"

"""Strive to be the man you want your daughter to marry"" ~ Woody Allen"

"guess who's still together after all these years and all the shit between them! Your butt cheeks."