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Joke of the Day

"if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno"

"Farted on my wallet... Now I have gas money."

"[interview] Boss: Your CV says eggs, milk, bread Me: That's right [cut to supermarket] Wife: Excuse me, where are the attention to details?"

"Who called them ""homo erectus'"" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them ""homo erectus'"""

"What's the difference between anal sex and regular sex? Regular sex can make your night, but anal sex can make your hole weak."

"After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names... "

"Can a ninja throw any pointy object with lethal accuracy ? Shuriken"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"