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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory? He didn't like being spoken to in that voice"

"They told me to dress for the job I want, not for the job I have. They fired me the next day because I dressed for a blowjob. I'll show myself out..."

"What crime did the viticulturist get imprisoned for? Grape."

"A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You've made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?"

"How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber? You ask them to pronounce unionize."

"I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed ""take a nap"" with ""piece of crap"" so don't tell me about your parenting skills."

"I overdosed on viagra once it was the hardest day of my life"

"Historically speaking, tanning under the sun first began in France during the bronzage."

"Dear masturbating astronauts... In space. No one can hear you cream"

"What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms? A maid man."